The Crazy Professor

Korean Guy, His Son, Me & The Crazy Professor

My first trip to Busan was one I'd been looking forward to since arriving. I'd heard it was a fun sea town & just rowdy enough for my liking.

I caught an early train Saturday morning, as this seems more conducive w/my spur of the moment mentality & offers a few hours of 'logistical planning' after work on Friday night to get a loose plan in order. Now, maybe this approach isn't the best option but having to account for frantically changing weather, it just seems a better option from where I'm sitting.

Not having a printer at home puts me at a disadvantage, since I'm not able to reserve a ticket & print it out before heading to the station. So, unfortunately, the only seats available were in first class but I figured the extra $10 would be better than waiting another hour for the next train. Plus, there are supposed to be a few perks riding in the 'high class' seats....which actually wound up being nothing. Either way, I was headed south & Busan station would ultimately put me w/in walking distance to a number of the initial places I wanted to check out.


Once aboard, I found my seat, stowed my pack overhead & hunkered down in the window seat for a nice two hour, mid-morning snooze. The snooze lasted all of 30 minutes, as upon stopping in Dondaegu, just south of Gumi, we picked up a few more passengers & one of them (I'm guessing he had a standing ticket & wandered around until he found an empty seat, which is pretty common) promptly noticed my Caucasian-ness, gestured politely, made a bit of English small talk & finally sat down in the vacant aisle seat to my right.

**I've come to realize headphones & books are nary a deterrent when it comes to chatty Asians looking to practice their secondary language skills.

The guy ends up being a semi-retired Economics professor who spent part of his days attending seminars, lecturing & bouncing around Korea visiting friends at various universities - some of which, he claims, are high ranking members of the administrations at said institutions. On this day, however, he was headed to a wedding in Busan.

His name was Dr. Warren Kim but he insisted on simply being called Warren. His flimsy, rice paper 'business card' gave the Hangul translation for those who could care less about his English name. On the surface, he seemed to be a very well traveled individual, having visited over 100 countries & due to his current employment status, he had plenty of time for traveling & meeting people. It didn't take long to realize he was tremendously outgoing & seemed very interested in getting to know anyone he encountered. He also took great pride in collecting personal contact information from those people he met.

Realizing I was knee deep in conversation & not getting any sleep, we swapped tales of adventure, life & general topics of varied substance. He was, what I'd refer to as an 'excitable guy.' He was older, sure, but full of energy & a certain zest for life not regularly exhibited by most people. I can only imagine his class lectures were probably quite entertaining, even if the subject matter may be rather blase for most folks.

Within about 30 minutes I'd learned way more than I'd every expected (or probably even wanted to) about the distinguished Professor Kim. He owns homes (apartments) in Seoul & Daegu, travels the world regularly, lost his alcoholic father to, you guessed it - alcohol & he claimed to have a wife that he never does anything with. In his exaggerated state of existence he bounced from topic to topic, and this should have been a warning sign that maybe things were a bit cuckoo w/the man but the conversation was comical & he thought he could help me find a Uni gig over here by forwarding my resume on to some of his friends at various universities he mentioned. 

He'd apparently spent a number of years teaching in the states & was familiar w/exactly where Iowa was. He also mentioned, during his time in America, he worked w/a Russian Economist who had passed away (my understanding is this was also alcohol related) & that he'd basically taken the man's sons under his wing & claimed to provide for them & treat them as if they were his own.

About 20 minutes out from Busan Station, the Professor proclaimed we needed to get off at Gupo (the port of turtles) & then we could catch the subway. He also felt I could get a discount on my ticket since I hadn't traveled to my final destination. It all seemed a bit sketchy & I objected a couple times but finally decided, what the hell, why not tag along w/the Professor for a while. Upon departing the train, he insisted I get my refund and he needed to find the station master. For all the efforts, I supposedly got a 1,000 won refund (about a buck) but I didn't ever bother to see if the deposit was ever made back into my account. We also spent a good 15 minutes traipsing around the station in search of the station master. By the time we finally found the office, the station master wasn't there but the Professor wanted to leave a message for him. Unfortunately, I wasn't exactly sure what he said but it didn't seem like it was much of anything important.

Next, it was on to the subway, where we were going to head downtown (basically where the train would have eventually dropped us off at, had we stayed on board). As we were cruising towards downtown, the Professor spotted a pasty, red haired chap who he felt I would certainly like to meet. Not surprisingly, it was a rather awkward few minutes....not every single white person wants to befriend every other white person in Korea. The kid was decent enough; a teacher (no surprise) from Ireland who felt this was an opportunity for a better life as things are apparently pretty dismal for recent college grads back on the Isle.

Eventually, we were to our stop so we parted ways w/the Irish lad (don't remember his name) & made our way up to the street where we caught a cab. I still wasn't entirely sure what the hell was going on but the Professor, in his effervescent demeanor, assured me we needed to meet up w/his friends before the wedding. Again, I mentioned to him it was a kind gesture but I really wasn't keen on going to a wedding, let alone spending the day running all over town meeting various people I would likely never see again.

After 10 minutes of left and right hand turns & a couple red lights, we exited the cab near the waterfront. The Professor wasn't exactly sure where he was supposed to meet his friend or what the exact plan was, so when we finally found them, the plan was to grab a bit to eat....unfortunately, a bite to eat didn't include any real food of substance but rather lots of Korean beer & an assortment of vegetables in varying degrees of spicy.

Have you ever watched a car accident & it seemed like the whole thing happened in slow motion? That's pretty much what the next 90 minutes were like. It winds up, the Professor met this guy a couple weeks earlier when he was in Busan, so it was only proper to get together for beers. The friend seemed like a nice guy, very polite & he was accompanied by his son, who probably in his early 20's. The Professor decided I should stay w/this guy & his family for the night & the son would be my tour guide for the weekend. As generous as the offer was, I really didn't want to A) burden this family I didn't even know & B) have some college kid devote his entire day/weekend to showing some English teacher around the city.


It turns out the Professor is quite a hearty drinker & I'm pretty sure for every one bottle we split, he had put down three bottles on his own. It wasn't to the point of raucous quite yet but he was beginning to get rather loud, considering it was only the middle of the day.

After being holed up in this tiny little restaurant/bar for nearly two hours, listening to the Professor ramble on about who knows what (only caught about every tenth word), I decided I needed to make my exit, the day was being wasted & I was rather annoyed. I almost felt bad for his friend as he sat there, relatively quiet, just nodding, agreeing & occasionally chuckling at some bit of wit or humor from the Professor.

I've come to realize that Korean men like to get drunk, often. Unfortunately, this was throwing a tremendous wrench in my plans to see the city. Finally, I mentioned that I really needed to get going, even though I had no pressing engagements, I was anxious to play tourist for awhile. With that, the Professor decided it was a good idea, even though he was going to stay & drink 'a little more' w/his friend, before the wedding. His friend spoke to his son for a moment, handed him about 50,000 won ($50) & motioned him to join me for the day.

Before leaving, the Professor invited me to call him on Sunday on my way back through Daegu. He thought it would be great if we met up for a bite to eat. Knowing his idea of 'a bite to eat' was drastically different than mine, I opted to forgo the invitation & whatever bizarre nonsense would have likely ensued.

Hoping never to experience this again, I made the request of a photo, if only to serve as a future reminder of, well, the Crazy Professor. We lined up, smiled eloquently enough & as the Professor clasped onto my arm for stability, photos were taken.  I did my best to thank the Professor, his friend & the relatively patient ladies working who'd suffered through a few rude moments as the Professor sucked down his happy juice.

The tiny restaurant & our two waitresses....kind of.

Unfortunately, the kid who was going to show me around didn't speak much English & the Korean dictionary on my phone could only do so much. By the time we made our way down the elevator, outside & had wandered about a block down the street, I had done my best to explain that he didn't need to escort me around the city & he could probably find far better things to do on a Saturday afternoon anyway. It took at least five minutes of explaining & 'phone-translating' to fully get my point across & by that time, it seemed that I may have offended the kid but either way - I was free at last!


For all his generosity & sincere friendliness, I couldn't help thinking that, just maybe, this man might be a tad loony! I certainly appreciated the manner in which he carried himself & his outwardly cordial attitude towards all people but having been led all over town w/nothing sufficiently productive to show for the time & energy wasted, I was more than happy to be alone, to explore Busan on my own.

On my next trip to Busan, I was very leery of running into the Professor again, I just had a bad feeling. Even knowing percentages were low that I might actually cross paths w/him, my senses were still heightened & I was ready to duck & hide if necessary.

Of course, when I got to Busan station a couple weeks ago, I cautiously looked around the waiting area & ticket lines for any sign of the Professor....low & behold, there he was, on the far side of the station, chatting it up w/one of the KORAIL employees, most likely wanting to have a word w/the station master about something. I bee-lined for the nearest set of stairs, made my way to the second level & posted up, watching to see that the Professor had gone on his way & I wouldn't have to endure another afternoon of nonsense w/this crazy little man.